Our coffee maker is on a small serving table out on the porch. A great portion of our possessions are spread out on the porch floor. Hundreds of wine glasses adorn a table in the living room. Our dining room table is seventy five percent covered with dishes, cups, glasses and other assorted household items. The downstairs freezer now contains about a weeks worth of frozen dinners. Yesterday, I spent the morning crawling on my belly cleaning areas that had not seen a wet rag in a very long time, and right now some guy named Steve has begun to tear apart parts of our kitchen.
Why has all this happened? Two possible reasons, one, Marge and I have totally lost our minds, or two, the house has been infected with the HGTV virus. This virus has begun to infect many wives. It appears that after many hours of exposure to the HGTV cable channel women have insatiable desires for granite counter tops, stainless appliances and escape from the seventies cabinets. This virus makes women feel that if your house is not equipped with these things it is now considered worthless and unsellable.
The treatment for our infection began quite some time ago with advance diagnosis and demonstrations of possible cures. I think therapy should be first administered before the required viewings of hundreds of doors, knobs, handles, stoves, sinks, faucets, refrigerators, paint chips and even multiple visits to cold warehouses to look at slab after slab of Brazilian granite.
Thank heaven most of the decisions have been made and the long treatment has begun. Wish me luck.
Next problem is how to eat with no kitchen and all the stuff on the porch floor? I think the local restaurants will be seeing a lot of us the next week or so. Besides the annual Myrtle Beach golf trip and what’s been going on at the house you can probably understand the lack of Blog entries.
As long as my sanity holds out, I’ll try to give you a progress report.
