Disappearing Women and more
While shopping at the local Price Chopper I ran into a
fellow that I knew from my past and also occasionally saw at church. We exchanged the usual greeting niceties and
went our shopping ways. A short time
later I once again ran into him rounding another aisle further in the
store. I said “we meet again”, but this
time he had a slightly puzzled look on his face and began looking up and down
the aisles. I inquired as to whether
there was a problem. He said ‘no not
really, just looking for my wife”. We
then began a discussion about how are constantly losing our wives on shopping
trips. When visiting stores like Walmart
and others like it, my wife and I go our separate ways because of obvious different
interests, but always with promises to meet at this same spot again when
finished.
That of course never happens since men always finish a lot
quicker and we reach the spot far sooner than our wives. Instead of looking like lost sheep standing
around in a meadow we proceed to leave this spot and seek our spouses. We walk the main aisles looking up down aisles
to try to spot them. They are never there, how are they able to vanish? Are
they always behind an end cap of the aisle? Where the hell do they go? Is there a secret door that opens into another
building or room? A bathroom trip? Have they picked this time to leave us? No answer, so we repeat the same route
thinking that sooner or later they will appear in one of the aisles. After the unsuccessful search I usually spot
her in an area far removed from where we had promised to meet. I guess it’s only her attempt to make my life
more exciting, heaven knows I could use the exercise.
My friend had an even more frustrating experience on a trip
to Shop-Rite. She gave him a list of items he should shop for while she attended
to another list. After picking up the
items on his list he proceeded to the designated area, but surprise, surprise,
no wife in sight. He waited for some time and then began with multiple circuits
around the store. Still no luck. In
frustration he decided to check outside.
Success at last as he found her sitting comfortably in the car. I’m curious, does anyone have a similar problems
shopping with the “Disappearing wife”?
With
all these Nor’easters attacking and torturing us with power outages I thought
of a couple appropriate Murphy’s Law type items I ran across recently.
Flashlight:
A case for holding dead batteries.
God
gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
