Here's whats going on.

Stay on your feet Dad.  This is what my kids are saying to me after they learned that I had taken a tumble down the stairs leading from our family room.  I'm able to joke about it since the trip down the stairs was uneventful from a pain stand point.  It seems I’ve learned the art of soft landings on these types of mishaps.  I could have totally avoided the whole trip if didn’t have glasses in both my hands returning them to the kitchen.  While falling I tossed them all back into the room, knocked a picture off the wall and gently let my ass hit the ground.  Turned to be a very good landing, but scared the hell out of Marge.   This became just another reason why I’m always writing about advancing age and the so-called “Golden Years”.  It was also a reinforcement of why we should always use railings during these marvelous years.  Good balance has become a thing of the past.  Memories of hopping on rocks to cross streams during hunting trips in Vermont is just what it is….only a memory.

Ok what else is going on with this old guy?  I recently broke a tooth off at breakfast on a piece of Italian toast.  Have to go and have a tooth added to that partial.  Might just as well have all the rest checked at the same time since I want to make sure I have the weapons to chew with on our upcoming July cruise.  Well how do you like that?  Found out that all those remaining weapons I have are tired and are ready to go the same route that the one attacked by toast had taken.  Well, how exciting is that?  Now I'll have a month or so of dentist trips while sporting  a smile that could get me a job on Hee Haw if the show was still on TV.

Oh, by the way, after almost three years not playing golf I agreed to play in a family foursome during  an upcoming charity tournament.  That should be a sight to behold.  The thought of practicing a little before the event crossed my mind but was quickly dismissed.  I did decide, however, to go in the garage to  check my clubs. Found out that I had no balls (gave them all away figuring I had no use for them), but I did have clubs, so I took the driver out and took a few swings.  Found out that along with not having balls I no longer had a swing.  The only bright note is that the tournament is a scramble and I might be able to help a little with the putting.  Should be quite an experience.  At least I’m still a “scratch eater”.

I think Will Rogers once said “Never miss a chance to shut up”, so that’s what I’m going to do.

A Few New Bitches

I really do enjoy writing these blogs and don't understand why I’m constantly running hot and cold with the entries.  I write one or two quickly a couple of days and then get some sort of a brain freeze and have a difficult time getting the brain and fingers to work again.  I looked at the calendar today and discovered that it’s been nearly a month since you heard from me.  Perhaps it is merely the result of the exciting life I lead…lol.  When I do finally sit down to start an entry, my thoughts jump to things medical, aging, and all the other things that I’m sure you don’t really want to hear about.  Why do I continue to revert back to that same stuff? 

I can blame some of it on a project I worked on a while back. A few years ago I decided to put together a personal phone book for our home use and developed three categories for the book.  One was for all our friends and family. Another was for service people which continues to grow since I no longer do much work myself and need to hire people for all the jobs I'm no longer able or want to do (remember I’m getting old). Other numbers in this section are for garages, car dealers, lawyers, accountants, oil companies, stores etc.  This list has grown to thirty.

But my most unpopular list is the doctor list and it's the reason I continue to revert to my medical and aging moans. We seem to be constantly adding to this one and need adjust it often since it has grown to a total of nineteen plus one hospital number. I ask you, how exciting is that?  Many of these doctors are now visited on a regular basis and our calendar is filled with dates for these visits. As time goes on, each visit seems to create something new for me to bitch about.  While this blog is called Rhino Roars and my bitches are what prompted its creation, I strongly doubt that the information resulting from these visits would prove entertaining to you. 

So what should I write about? 

I could tell you that the recent strong winds we recently experienced tore the hell out of one of my pine trees, first one knocked off a large branch, the second the entire top, making it necessary to have the entire tree removed. 

I could tell you that when the sun does occasionally shine a little, the sunny side of our house is covered with thousands of box elder beetles (they come in the house too) that should instead, be inhabiting the four Box Elder Maple trees bordering our property.
 

I could tell you that Marge and I completed safe driving course yesterday to earn a little price reduction on our car insurance.  Don’t know why we bothered.  The elderly instructor ended the class by telling us that we should begin preparing for the inevitable occasion when we need to stop driving and give up our car.  What a terrible way that was to end the class and start my day.

I could tell you that on one of those medical visits I promised not to talk about gave me plenty of reason to roar. In an effort to combat the rheumatoid arthritis I recently developed they prescribed a new medication for me. At the same time I was advised that alcohol should not be consumed while taking it since it can result in severe liver damage. Now, I don’t believe I can be classified as an alcoholic, but there are times when I miss it very much, like our afternoon glass of wine with cheese, a nice cold beer with a slice of pizza or hot dog. Beer is also a must when devouring chicken wings. It also bothers the hell out of me to look but not touch at my cooler and rack full of great wines.

I could talk about all of this type of stuff, but I think I’m going to go back to bitching about, lousy TV shows, lousy and too numerous commercials, lousy restaurant meals and or service. It think it will be more fun for all of us.  Thanks for putting up with me.