A change in genre

Recently a dear friend of mine told me that my Blogs are too centered around advancing age and the troubles the aging are experiencing.  I told him he was probably right and that I would try to make my writing more cheerful and youthful. As you have probably noticed none of these promised blogs have appeared.  I’ve been scratching my head trying to come up with ideas to fulfill this promise, but, you know what, I can’t seem to come up with anything.  You know why?  I looked at my calendar and discovered that I was going to celebrate my 83^rd birthday this coming Wednesday.  I guess you can call that pretty old and my life style has adjusted to the situation.  Here’ are some of the signs that prove the point.

Instead of hopping down stairs, I seek, find, and hold on to the bannisters. Read somewhere about how many fall down accidents occur at home.  Got hearing aids so that I can know what everyone is saying about me. Go to bed at 9:30, get up around four times to pee, and make the final stay up rise around 4 or 5.  Get all my morning chores done before seven and sit around trying to figure out what to do the rest of the day.  Need I say more?  Bob, I don’t think you can look forward to many exciting young stuff….sorry.  It’s time for me to go back to the basics.

If you know me you will recall that I have always had an opinion on just about everything especially if it is something I’m not agreement  In an effort to be heard by an audience larger than just my poor wife and an occasional family member I set up the Blog page you are now reading.  It’s call rhinoroars for a good reason.  It became a great a vehicle for me to get out all my bitches and frustrations. So far I’ve published one hundred and thirty five blogs, almost all bitches.  Just so you know, most of you have been in agreement with most of them.

Here’s a small example.  On almost a daily basis I drive down the hill to Price Chopper and do a little shopping. With only two of us in the house we are rarely in desperate need of anything, but I go to get away from this computer, the TV set, and the miserable programs available to us during the day.  Besides the store is large so it gives me a chance to at least get a minimum amount of exercise for this decrepit body of mine.  I’m a pretty good observer so I have a good idea where everything is in the store (I end up helping many confused women that I find gazing and bewildered in the aisles of myriad choices) and what the prices are. What pisses (pardon the language, but remember I’m old and supposed to get away with it) me off is the stores attempt to con us when they publish their weekly special paper.  Marge and I love sea scallops so I always peek at the prices in the hope I can catch a special. They usually cost $18.95 per pound, a little dear, but you can normally buy the broken sea scallop pieces for $8.99 per pound regularly.  Well last Sunday’s paper showed me I’m now able to save $3.00 per pound at the special price of only $9.99 per pound.  Come on now, what am I stupid?  No, but the average shopper does not have the time to pay attention to things like this. If you have the time like I do to really look at these things you would find many more efforts to con the average buyer. 

I’ll keep looking for some of these and will post in future blogs.  I have to quit now and try to start getting back to my “bitch zone”.   Thanks so much for reading.

A MEMORABLE WEEKEND

Several people recently commented to me about my Blogs.  I was deeply flattered that so many people actually read them and said they enjoyed them. A few even said they were well written and they looked forward to them.  Hard to believe, but greatly appreciated…thank you, thank you. Having to live up to the compliments makes this new blog tougher to write and hard to get started….don’t have many young people funnies, but here we go anyway.

 Marge and I recently attended a fabulous wedding in New Jersey for our grandson .First one of eight to marry.  Also attending the wedding were a couple of my former golfing partners who I consider great friends. During the reception, Bob, who I love dearly stopped by the table and told me, jokingly, that he was just a little tired of my advancing age stuff contained in so many of by blogs.  Making fun of things that us oldies go through as we age has made it easy for me create these blogs. 

Every time I get an idea to start the blog it seems to swing toward making fun of our advancing age or diminishing abilities.  I guess I have to go in another direction. Time to write about other things like the wedding itself.  It was an unbelievable affair.  I truly think that the amount food presented to us for the weekend could have fed half of Israel for a day.

If I failed to mention it, this was a Jewish wedding. My love and craving for lox and bagels should be satisfied for the balance of the year. I had so much at every buffet, Alaskan fishermen were planning to put my picture in the cabin of their boats.   Only one funny at the morning buffet table.  This voracious lox eater started a new trend.  Mistaking whipped cream for cream cheese when assembling my bagel gave everyone something new to talk about yours truly.  Didn’t screw up much, but I did spill a glass of champagne all over Marge and the table at the reception.  Can’t really blame myself since the Rabbi sitting with us tried to click glasses with me in a toast to the Liza and Corey, the newlyweds. Very nice man, but he’s going to take the blame for this one.

Rhino’s roar is very quiet this time around but I'm saving it all up for the next time.

Fish Eye Louie

I was at the sink this morning doing the daily wash up when a name suddenly popped up in my head, “Fish Eye Louie”.  This is a name from my childhood about 70 years ago.  When I was growing up in the 40’s and 50’s every kid in the neighborhood had unique nickname, Fish Eye Louie, Bonehead, Pinhead, Jugger, Weasel, Skop and so on.  Why should these names come into my head after all these years? 

What an amazing thing the human brain is. I can remember sitting quietly under a pine tree during a Vermont hunting trip when out of the clear blue sky I started to recite the Hail Mary in Polish.  Something I did in Polish school when I was a very young kid.

After the Fish Eye Moment my brain really started to wander back to a ton of very clear memories from way back. It seemed that even if situations years ago were not pleasant ones, my brain turned them around and made them quite nice to remember. Halloween nights, fishing trips, ball games all kept flying into my head.

I was actually enjoying the trip back in time but wondered why there were now times I opened the refrigerator door and stood there wondering what the hell I was there for.  Taking coupons to the store and never cash them in after shopping. Every day I think of things I need to look up on the computer, but do you think I can remember any of them when I go downstairs and start up the computer? Did I take my pills this morning?  Don’t know, but I remember the first time I took a puff of a cigarette.

I’ve been told that as we age, our long term memory intensifies while the short term goes to hell.  Boy are they right! 

Do any of share my problem?