Disappearing wives and more

Disappearing Women and more

While shopping at the local Price Chopper I ran into a fellow that I knew from my past and also occasionally saw at church.  We exchanged the usual greeting niceties and went our shopping ways.  A short time later I once again ran into him rounding another aisle further in the store.  I said “we meet again”, but this time he had a slightly puzzled look on his face and began looking up and down the aisles.  I inquired as to whether there was a problem.  He said ‘no not really, just looking for my wife”.  We then began a discussion about how are constantly losing our wives on shopping trips.  When visiting stores like Walmart and others like it, my wife and I go our separate ways because of obvious different interests, but always with promises to meet at this same spot again when finished.

That of course never happens since men always finish a lot quicker and we reach the spot far sooner than our wives.  Instead of looking like lost sheep standing around in a meadow we proceed to leave this spot and seek our spouses.  We walk the main aisles looking up down aisles to try to spot them. They are never there, how are they able to vanish? Are they always behind an end cap of the aisle? Where the hell do they go?  Is there a secret door that opens into another building or room?  A bathroom trip?  Have they picked this time to leave us?  No answer, so we repeat the same route thinking that sooner or later they will appear in one of the aisles.  After the unsuccessful search I usually spot her in an area far removed from where we had promised to meet.  I guess it’s only her attempt to make my life more exciting, heaven knows I could use the exercise.

My friend had an even more frustrating experience on a trip to Shop-Rite. She gave him a list of items he should shop for while she attended to another list.  After picking up the items on his list he proceeded to the designated area, but surprise, surprise, no wife in sight. He waited for some time and then began with multiple circuits around the store.  Still no luck. In frustration he decided to check outside.  Success at last as he found her sitting comfortably in the car.  I’m curious, does anyone have a similar problems shopping with the “Disappearing wife”?

With all these Nor’easters attacking and torturing us with power outages I thought of a couple appropriate Murphy’s Law type items I ran across recently.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.